One Of Those Days

21/1/14


Sometimes, you have to put on a brave face. You have to smile, you have to pretend that your child went to sleep at a reasonable time the night before, you have to try and not complain too much because quite frankly, not many people are interested. You have to try not to be offended when people say 'you look tired today', or 'Luke doesn't seem very happy today'. You have try not jump down people's throats when they ask, what seems to me, stupid questions. "Is he like this often?", "You've got your hands full with that one".
 You have to listen to everybody else's troubles and try and give them advice, but when you want someone to talk to there seems to nobody there.
Just today, I've had 3 people telling me their life stories and their problems. A lovely old lady at the bus stop was telling me about her grandchildren and how she's got to have an operation...
A friend of mine is telling me all the woes or her life - I care, don't get me wrong, but when I want to talk to her about my woes she's always busy.
The only person I can really vent to is the ever wonderful Fiona at Luke's nursery. As ever, I am extremely grateful to you - as are the other parents you see.


For those who don't know, I also have a 15 year old stepdaughter - Lauren. The rule seems to be that a teenager's life is full of drama. So on top of an autistic 4 year old, I have a drama filled 15 year old to contend with too! Problems with school, with friends, with teachers, with hormones, with boys... It's all very tiring! I would like to take a moment to sincerely apologize to my mum and dad if I was ever that bad - truly, I'm sorry.
So my point about Lauren is, she says no one has time for her. Luke gets all the attention, so on so forth. To a certain extent, he does. You can't leave him alone for more than 30 seconds before he goes into destructive mode, screaming, throwing things etc. But, I thought I always made time for her, I always listen when she is saying something, I send her silly pictures that I find to make her laugh, I make her favourite food as often as I can so that she knows she is being thought of and not being neglected. Apparently I was very wrong. If anybody has any tips on how to juggle a hormonal teenager and a special needs child, I would be very grateful to hear them.


I have stolen a fantastic idea from a dear friend and I have made a 'Happy Jar'. Whenever something happens that is good, I scribble it down on a piece of paper and put it inside. On a bad day, I can look at one or two and remember that that whilst the life is bumpy sometimes, they are really just little pot holes in the road.


I saw a picture the other day on the Autism Facebook page, and I was quite offended. It said "It's ok to be a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we can shine". Luke is not broken, nor is any other child with or without disabilities. Luke is different, and let's face it, if everyone was the same life would be so dull. To imply that, is rude and disrespectful - and yet shows the lack of understanding for what is becoming a more frequently diagnosed disorder.
10 years ago, 1 in 1000 people were diagnosed with ASD. 5 years ago, 1 in every 500. Today, 1 in 100 people are diagnosed  with some form of Autism Spectrum Disorder.


Autism is one of those things that isn't heard of, unless someone you know has an autistic relative, or a child at your child's school has it. I think that because autism is becoming more and more common, that awareness needs to be raised so that everyone knows about it. 
No one really knows for sure what causes autism. Some say it's the vaccines that you give your children as babies, some say it's all the chemicals that are in the food that we eat and the air that we breathe. In Luke's case it could have been the meningitis he had at 5 months or any number of things. But regardless of what cause it, I think that people need to know about it.
No person with autism is the same as another person with autism. Some may share common traits, but they are never identical in behaviour. Some are quiet, some are loud, some are genius', some a mentally limited.
As always, I am grateful for my child as he is :)
No one will ever love you as much as I do Lukey, never ever xx




Sorry for the rambling - it's been one of those days!