Finding a cure...

20/5/15

I got a little bored today and did some research about ASD and I came across the sciency people trying to find a cure for autism. Now, baring in mind that no one is sure what causes autism, how can they find a cure? And quite frankly why focus on finding a cure for it when diseases like cancer are still very much at large?
I don't know if it's just me (seeing as I don't know or speak to anyone else who's children are autisc), but I don't think my boy needs a cure. He doesn't have an illness, he isn't going to die from Autism. It's just part of who he is. We don't know if he was born with it or if he developed it, or if he got it from when he had the meningitis. We don't know, and we probably never will, but it doesn't matter. We love and cherish him just the way he is. Don't get me wrong there are days when I want to give him away because he's too loud or won't stop running around or won't walk down the street without screaming and people thinking he's being kidnapped! But that's part of the joys of having children.
I, as an autism parent, don't believe that a cure is really necessary. I understand that some people will disagree and after all everyone is entitled to their opinion. I appreciate that there are varying degrees of autism and some are "worse" than others. I don't mean worse in a nasty way but I can't think of the right word to use... anyway, I understand that some have it better than others. We're quite lucky that Luke is in the moderate to severe category. But my boy is still the light of my life. The only thing I would change about him if I could would be to add a volume button somewhere!

This may sound a little crazy, but I sort of think that Autism may be the next step in our evolution. Almost every great person to have lived has been somehwere on the autism spectrum, whether is be autusm or Aspergers - Mozart, Amanda Baggs (advocate of rights for autistic people), Marty Balin (singer and songwriter), Jessica-Jane Applegate (Paralympic swimmer),Todd Hodgetts (Paralympic shot putter), James Hobley, British dancer and 2011 (Britain's Got Talent finalist), Bhumi Jensen (grandson of Bhumibol Adulyadej, King of Thailand), Christopher Knowles (American poet), 50 Tyson (rapper and autism activist), Stephen Wiltshire (British architectural artist), Temple Grandin (food animal handling systems designer and author), Courtney Love (frontwoman of Hole), Dylan Scott Pierce (wildlife illustrator). Plus Mozart, Newton and Einstein. So without them having autism, our world would be boring. We wouldn't understand maths, or have musical masterpieces. We wouldn't be able to see beautiful works of art or have music we can relate to. So yeah, I think autism may be the next step in our evolution, why would anyone want to stop that? Look how far we've come as a species, why would people want to stop all that progress? Mother nature may not have it all worked out just yet, and she needs to iron the kinks out a little bit.
All I know is that more and more people are being diagnosed with autism. Some say that's because it's easier than facing that you're child is naughty. Some say it's because doctors are too lazy to work what the issue really is and so they loosely group them all together. I'm not a medical professional, or a scientist so I really don't know. But to think that my baby is part of evolution kinda makes the bad days worth it, you know?

So, the very long answer to the original question... no, I don't think that Autism needs a cure.

Funny People

11/5/14

So, it still astounds me how people can be so ignorant of the world and the things in it.
Luke and I went to the shop earlier on today and he had a bit of meltdown. Not a massive one but big enough to cause a scene. One particular lady wouldn't stop staring at him and I calmly said, "don't worry, he's autistic. He'll stop when he's ready." And this is the bit that really got me. This very ignorant lady said "Autism is an American thing, so he can't possibly have it. You should be ashamed of yourself for wishing a disability on your child!" After I'd finished laughing (because of the sheer stupidity of that statement) I quite calmly said, "oh, I hadn't realised that. Next time I'll try and pick something a bit more British." And walked out, without getting what we needed.
I was truly shocked that apparently autism is just for the Americans. Does that make us honorary Americans? I know he can't have caught it from an American because we haven't been to America and we haven't met anybody from America. So in that case, how did an American disease/disability get its claws into my son?! How dare it attack my baby? Call the police, the FBI, interpol, the military! Raise the alarm, there is some kind of autism flu or something.
Oh wait, I just realised... Autism isn't racist, or country-ist (I know that's not a word but you know what I mean). It doesn't care where you live, or how rich or poor your family is. It doesn't care if you're from Britain, America or Africa. It doesn't care if you are black, white or green. AUTISM DOESN'T CARE!

It amazes me that even with the rise in autism spectrum diagnosis people still don't know all that much about it. People seem to only know about autism if they know somebody with it, or somebody's child has it. On the one hand, I'm truly grateful that only one other person I know has an autistic child (not counting Luke's nursery friends) but also saddened that just because it's not affecting them personally, doesn't mean the ignorance is ok. 
There are varying types and severities of Autism, like with most things. Compared to some Luke has a pretty bum deal, compared to others he's been pretty lucky. Many have ASD as well as some other problem, so we have been relatively  lucky. Still, I wouldn't wish Autism on anybody - even my worst enemy. It is a cruel and horrible disability. It separates you from other people.
Most people don't understand how I can get so excited about the little things that Luke does. Most people will see something I've put on Facebook and think 'he's 4, he should have been doing that a long time ago', but Luke has never been like other children - but that was bound to happen with me as his mother!!
Actually, I wish Autism on everybody. Not in a nasty way. Not permanently. Just for a day, or a week, so that people can see how difficult yet rewarding it truly is.
Luke and I have a bond that I think is pretty unique. And I think that his Autism is the reason behind it. Luke knows (as he has seen it first hand) that I will always champion his cause. I will always stick up for him and love him unconditionally as all parents do. But this goes beyond that. All parents will say the same things that I just have, but their children aren't under constant scrutiny for the way they behave or the way they talk or the way that they have a meltdown because there's a strange smell or too much noise, or too many people. I am always aware of the people around us, I've gotten pretty good at judging a situation and working out whether all of my attention needs to go on Luke or whether I need to get my guard up because someone will start. I always give my all to Luke, and I think he knows this.
I was asked the other day if I regretted having a child at 18, and honestly the answer is no. I'm not missing out on anything. The 'normal' people my age are going out drinking, and learning to drive and have just finished university... but Luke has given me an education like no other. He has taught me the meaning of true, unconditional love and loyalty. Then, I was asked if I regretted having a disabled child. As it was a friend, I didn't automatically go on destroyer mode - any one who knows me, knows that I turn into a big angry mama bear defending her cubs when people say things like that. Again, the answer is no. I don't regret Luke being 'disabled'. I don't really see him as disabled, a pain in the arse yes, but not disabled as such. Compared to other children he may be 'the special one', or 'that naughty child'. To me he isn't disabled, he is differently abled. He can do things that other children his age can't. Does that make them disabled? No, it just means that they have different strengths and weaknesses.

Even the 'normal' children have different strengths and weaknesses from the other 'normal' children, it's just the way of the world. Let's face it, the world would be pretty boring if we were all good at the same things.