31/03/16
It's been about eighteen months since my post but I've decided to try and get back in to it. I hope you don't mind me waffling on again.
So, it's Autism Awareness Day on the 2nd of April. On the one hand, I think 'Yay, awareness' but on the other hand I think 'wow, one day. You people have no idea how much we struggle for the other 364 days of the year'. I'm completely aware that that makes me sound like an awful person but hey, it is what it is.
I wouldn't wish autism on anybody. It's a horrible thing to have to go through as a parent, never mind actually having it. On top of ASD, Luke also has ADHD and was recently diagnosed with SPD. SPD is Sensory Processing Disorder but I'll talk about that another time.
We've been on an emotional rollercoaster with Luke and whilst it's been educational, it's also been exhausting. We've been on courses, had countless appointments with professionals and teachers, we've researched, we've tried new techniques - most of which failed miserably. We've had sleepless nights; either because we've been worrying or we've been up with Luke at all hours of the morning. We've cried, we've laughed, we've pulled our hair out and we've counted to 10 a million times.
So far, it's all been worth it. Luke will be 7 in November. He'll be going up to junior school in 2017 and before I know it, he'll be a fully grown man. It's been a journey but I know that that journey will never end. I just hope that everything we're trying to do for him will make a difference.
It's not just Luke though. My step-daughter, Lauren, had a rough few years as she hit puberty and then turned in to an almost adult. She's 17 at the moment and is currently going through the process of being diagnosed, too. She's left home and moved in with her boyfriend a million miles away, so she's got to be on the high-functioning end of the scale but it looks like she's got it as well. Hopefully, she won't have the extras that Luke has though. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Still, I know that we've been lucky. Some children have more complex needs than Luke and I can honestly say that I'm happy that we're in the middle. It could be better but it could also be a whole lot worse.
Luke really is an amazing child. I know that I'm probably being biased but seriously, the progress that he's made is unbelievable. This time last year, Luke could barely speak and when he did it was rarely understood by someone that wasn't family. Now, he can talk in full sentences and most of the time, people understand him. His social skills have come on in leaps and bounds - sometimes I think he's more social than I am. Through speech and language therapy, medication and perseverance, Luke is almost a completely different child.
We still have days when I want to rip my hair out, sometimes those days are more often than not, but I know that one day it will all have been worth it. I suppose I don't really know it but I hope it and hope is a pretty powerful thing.
Without hope, I don't think that we would have made it this far. Without hope, I don't think that I'd be able to keep moving forward.
Whatever you believe, be it religion or science, keep the faith and keep hoping for the best. Work for it. Push yourselves and your loved ones to be the best versions of themselves that they can possibly be. Life is about perspective, so keep seeing that glass as half full.
Autism, in my opinion, should be widely recognised. One day of awareness just isn't enough for the children and adults that have to live with it everyday or for those that have to help their loved ones through it. One day isn't enough for people to understand. One day isn't enough for people to learn and understand that my son isn't worth less than their 'perfect' child. It isn't enough but for now, it will have to do.
On this year's Autism Awareness Day, I hope that those of you with autism, or those of you that care for someone with autism, know that you're not alone. Know that their are people out there that understand the trials that you face every day. There are people out there that are more than willing to be an sounding board, a shoulder to cry on or to just make the dark days less dark.
